no'ne ever said

dimming periods of stability
losing the period anyway
who needs periods when we can't make a complete thought anyway?

who ever knew the man i was taught to call father, or dad?
was he ever completed or is he still hanging?
was ever he a young child,
a boy playing with sticks and scraped knees,
with little girlfriends poking paper valentines into tissue-covered
shoe boxes decorated for the day, sitting on the corner of the desk
in second grade?
did he play with sticks like other boys?

I decorated my shoe box with tissue paper,
set it on the desk
cause that's what they told us to do
but not to get valentines
not me
when i played with sticks it wasn't nice
and i don't know why
it wasn't them that were mean
i couldn't do different
i didn't mean to do it but it happened
i couldn't take it back

but i decorated the box
the colors were fun, taking me away from what scared me,
it was at least pretty, so i thought,
for a change
though the box was always empty

was his box empty too?
is that why he became who he was that i knew?
but there were more of him than i knew
and i saw a few
liked none, but others did
who was he that they knew?

how ever did he get to be?
he went from there to old man, bad heart
baggy jeans
next to last, they'll all be dead

does he ever think what's next?