why do people blog?
why do people who read other people's blogs decide to create their own?
why, after deciding to try to start a blog, does one tell another whose blogs they read and from which they get smething, tell that other that they are finally starteding to try a blog. an endeavor given much thought and held back by much fear of both lack of know how and of anything to say
dont forget there were some questions there about how or why this or that...
and what then when that other offers some suggestions and asks to look would the one decline in the interest of anonymity?
so i say -- to one who's been encouraging me to go for it and see what comes ot it, and telling me how easy it is and he was right -- it's easy to set up so far anyway -- hey, i finally started a blog but it's a secret, amonymous blog ... i'm not telling you where it is -- what an ass
anonymous is only so good as far as it goes ... and it really can't go so far at that.
The whole thing is an exercise in narcissism to be totaly honest, but who ever heard of an anonymous narcissist?
I thought to blog would be neat because i hope -- i'd like to think -- maybe someone somewhere might read it and more than that comment, some exchaneg might be possible ... guess you can;t do that it you write in secret
like who cares anyway? no one knows who i am and the few who might read this and know of me probably already know there's not much to me anyway so why the hesitation?
partly maybe bc i hope you will think more of me than is deserved but chances of such slim as words are left behind. Pigeons are pretty til you see all the crap they leave behind and how it eats the paint from your car; peacocks are breathtaking til they squawk and leave piles of poo. I am not so pretty as a peacock and can't coo so softly as a pigeon, but otherwise ...
I want to blog like those who blog whose blogs are read ... whose blogs I read ... but it can't be one of those blogs or it wouln't be mine.
Things I read -- blogs or otherwise -- are interesting, enertaining, they touch or inspire, and what if I have none of that? I'm pretty basic -- nothing special about me. I work, I'm married, I have a kid, I have some dogs and cats and like to grow stuff and take pictures of things. No fancy exciting job with accompanying stories. Great smart kid who's done well despite me, she knows how to think and reason. Wonderful husband I don't deserve but maybe he'll pretend to not notice. A few friends who know me fairly well and stay friends anyway.
I am not a writer
I am not a photographer
I am not a thinker
I am not a schoalr
I am not a problem solver
I am not funny
I am not special
I just am.
I was an ass to not tell where this is (but I did send a later email) but ass is something I am and not infrequently -- though I don't try to be one and whenever I am I feel really bad.
Ass and bird poo ... seems like a theme
Maybe I should not blog
maybe I am better off to read the blogs I read
(and probably to limit my comments there too)
maybe you won't be mad for long
maybe i will decide that blogging is not for me
maybe in the meanwhile i'll just play
maybe i'll just be
(but try to be not an ass)
n see what happens
if anything does.
meanwhile mea culpa
i didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings and esp not yours
i just don't want you -- or anyone -- to read it and see what a stupid ass i am
what the hell, i guess i'll leave it here for a while anyways and see how it grows
or withers as the case may be
We bowed our heads
17 hours ago